What an amazing thing, feels like I was just here yesterday however it has been much longer than that. where is here anyways?
For the moment, I am in civilization, working a decent job for decent pay. For how long? I do not know. I have been back in society for long enough now to realize what I left behind before I came here and what I left here when I went there. That in which I write is in and of time.
Time what an interesting thing to be lost, gained, forgot, bought, used, then there is free time, bed time, break time, day time, night time, that “time” of the month, I could go on forever. Time as it is most commonly defined is the measure of the duration of events and the intervals between them. Is it a fundamental infrastructure of this universe that is static in some location and flowing in others, or is it something that is a human construct only to be realized in our existence as a way to portray prior and future events (there is no “now” or is there only the “now”?). Time can be and has been debated since we quantified the day and arguably developed the idea of agriculture and started to identify with seasons and the passing cycles on earth and the solar system in order to better facilitate the growth of certain plants.
Time is what I left in society when I was living in the wild, at least my track of time. In the woods there is no need for a watch or even a calender by any means we use them in our daily doings of the city life. I am relaying the idea of total loss of time to the point of not knowing what month it is. forget what time of the day. I knew morning evening and night, those were my way of keeping time. when it started getting cold, I got ready for winter, hoarding food and fuel for my fire. Thankfully I was living in a warm environment so the temp didn’t get below 40 much in the winter. I forgot the stress of having to be somewhere or not having enough time to do something. I did what needed to be done when it was needed. Nature told me what time it was when I was apart of it, and so much more, the smell told me rain was coming the silence of creatures told me when foes were near and I was starting to be able to forecast the weather fairly accurately a few days ahead just by looking at the clouds and hearing the wind in the trees.
Nature was speaking to me and for once, I understood.
That is what I left when I came back to society, my connection to nature and it’s form of time. I still learned invaluable truths from the experience but I know it would take time to form that bond with my true natural surroundings again. Just as it took me time to adjust to the bustle of the city again after years of living mostly in the wilderness, driving felt a little foreign at first after not driving for so long, it was just the speed really that got to me at first.
Work is also seeming foreign, in it’s many different definitions. In the wild, work is simply to sustain in it’s most basic form. Living in a city takes money. Working for money in order to sustain isn’t quite as satisfying or efficient but, its amazing how adaptable humans are, I think we will have more appreciation for that after we colonize a few more planets though. It took me a while to really put my mind on what I felt had left me but I was able to spend some time in reflection recently and let those thoughts come to fruition. Money, what a funny idea, almost as funny as time although much more surreal.